No, really, there are! This is not a metaphor. There are 12 bearded dragon lizards, 7 pythons, 5 snake eggs, a chameleon, 2 gamma lizards and 1 emperor scorpion!
All in the bottom two baskets of my freezer, nestling beneath my pies, pizzas and apple crumbles.
(You might not want to come round for supper for a while, least ways not until I’ve got my new glasses).
Why? You might reasonably ask. I did.
Son, (offspring number 2) is a trainee vet and is organising an exotic animal symposium and these are specimens destined for dissection, generously donated by someone in whose freezer they have previously resided.
‘Well, why does he keep a load of dead reptiles in his freezer? I asked (reasonable question, or so I thought).
‘Really, Mum, he had them when they were alive but then they died and you can’t just leave out a dead dragon for the bin men…’
‘No! There are guidelines about the disposal of exotic animals. After all, they might have zoonotic pathogens’
‘ZOONOTIC PATHOGENS!!!!!’ Are you telling me we’ve now got Zoonotic pathogens in our freezer as well as a load of dead reptiles?’
Son had the grace to look sheepish, ‘I only said they might have zoonotic pathogens’
(You really don’t want to come to supper now, do you?)
‘Anyway’, he added ‘Don’t go ferreting about in there, the scorpion still has its venom and there might be a chance you’d impale yourself on its tail’
FERRETING ABOUT??? Ferreting about? What planet is he on? I’m not even planning on looking in that freezer (thankfully we have two). If his sister was here, she’d leave home in disgust.
Thanking him for at the very least providing me with blog material, he asked me smugly what ‘theological spin’ I could work into the story.
‘Hmmm, let me think about it…. ’
‘And the serpent saith unto the woman: STEP AWAY FROM THE FREEZER!’
(apologies to subscribers who have received this one twice)
ps.if it makes you feel better, we have thrown away the pies, pizzas and crumbles, that particular storage space is now entirely reptilian.